Posted By Mark Haas CMC FIMC,
Saturday, January 31, 2009
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You know it is time to get out of consulting when...
- You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
- You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."
- You refer to dating as test marketing.
- You can spell "paradigm."
- You actually know what a paradigm is.
- You understand your airline's fare structure.
- You write executive summaries on your love letters.
- You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page paper with six other people
you don't know.
- You believe every company is "a traditional functional organization, with
promotion based on tenure, but one that needs to change as it is facing ever increasing
- You believe that a company's problems are never caused by an "ineffective handling
of an administrative situation."
- You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and
- You know every single piece of clip art in PowerPoint.
- You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
- You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly
leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."
- You ask your bank manager if she has heard of "Modigliani-Miller," and then
you ask her if she has a pizza so you can show her.
- You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering,"
"down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people's asses."
- You actually believe your explanations of the above.
- You start doing your kid's math equations in reverse Polish notation.
- You enjoy using an HP-12C.
- You refer to your previous life as "my sunk cost."
- Your three meals a day are a morning consumption function, a noontime consumption
function, and an evening consumption function.
- You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO."
- Your favorite stories begin "Bob Jones, VP of marketing, sat at his desk and
stared out his window..."
- You like both types of sandwiches: ham and turkey.
- You believe CAPM is just as important as the Theory of Relativity.
- You believe CAPM.
- You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.
- You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.
- You refer to divorce as "divestiture."
- Your favorite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal.
- None of your favorite publications have cartoons.
- You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.
- You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce
- At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand
- You always call your mechanic before you start your car to see if it will blow up given
the day's weather conditions....and expect him to use a decision tree to work it out.
- You've decided the only way to afford a house is to call your fellow alumni and offer
to name a room after them, if they'll help with the down payment.
- Your "deliverable" for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills
- You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.
- You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.
- You give constructive feedback to your dog
An old list but with a few new entries from Tom Antion & Associates.
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